January 11, 2018

Judge Less & Empathize More!




Incident 1:

My cousin did love marriage against her parents wish some twenty years before. I saw her parents cry and other chaos in the family after that incident. I couldn’t accept her love marriage at that time.

Incident 2:
One of my good friends was single till 32 and that’s not an acceptable age to stay unmarried for a girl in our society. For some reason or the other she was refusing all alliances. She is very much good looking, highly educated and professionally doing great. So in spite of knowing her well, I thought why she is troubling her parents like this. Later she saw a (family arranged) guy, met him few times and as she was okay with him, they both got engaged. But during courtship days, she couldn’t feel the compatibility and so she broke the wedding. After three more years, she finally found her soulmate (through arranged wedding only) and living happily now.         

Incident 3:
Another cousin of mine got engaged to a boy whom her big extended family chosen for her. She was initially happy only. But when they met few times before wedding, she realized they are unsuitable to each other. She tried to stop the wedding but as many family members were involved in the process, her parents couldn’t help her. Now even after years of wedding, still her wedding life is not peaceful.       

Incident 4:
Another cousin of mine divorced her husband and she had a son already. I was an unmarried kid then and I thought she must have not have broken the wedding.

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But now I realize that I look at these incidents in a different perspective.

I definitely do think that knowing your partner is more important before wedding. So love marriage should be acceptable and no one should oppose it blindly for the sake of honor or society. Friendship, understanding, compatibility etc are the must factors for a successful wedding and we can recognize all this during courtship days. So be it a love or arranged wedding, if you feel this is not a right match, then go ahead and stop the wedding. Family’s support is very much important in this. So family should understand that wedding life is more important than a simple engagement and support your son/daughter.
 
At the same time all of us should realize that there are no 100% compatible couples in the World. We should try to follow this:


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