Celebrating the bond of best friends!

This post is about my friends.      

One of my best friends is the reason why I'm writing this post. She informed me a few days ago that she reads my articles and blogs in the hopes that I have something to say about her or our group of friends. I was like “Naan avlo ellam worth illai di” and “Innuma nammala indha ulagam nambudhu!”. To be honest, I was thrilled to hear that. And that's what inspired me to write this post about my friends.

My earliest memory of a friend is when I was in pre-KG. The teacher asked us to stand in a horizontal line. My (then a few days old) friend was two kids away from me. So I quietly went and stood beside her and got a cuff on my head from the teacher 😐. Apparently the teacher must have made us stand in height order (so I was the first one in the queue 😂), and I had no idea about it. The girl I went and stood beside is still my close friend. Our friendship grew along with us. 

Cousins are our first friends. That way, I have a very special one. We used to write letters to each other as kids and we couldn't wait for the holidays to meet. But whenever we did meet, we would always have a gala time. We still cherish those memories whenever we talk.

I think 80s kids are the last generation to lose their contacts with friends, as those were landline days. I too lost contact my college besties contacts for a few years. But thanks to FB and a common friend, I found them again. There are four of us and since then we are in constant touch with each other. Our audio calls last atleast 45 mins and our next group video call is still pending. 

My ex-colleagues are another close friends, a group of four. We try to meet at least once a year. Even if we get only a few hours when we meet, we never miss a second without talking & laughing. Last summer we had planned a get-together, but corona overrode everything. I hope our plan works out next year.

The beauty of friendships is that we can resume with them at any time, no matter how many years have passed. Sometimes, after a long time, I ping a friend, or they ping me unexpectedly. And we simply pick up where we left off in our conversation. Moments like those are priceless. 😇

Some of the good friendships start with neighbors. I have such a few in Chennai & here as well, including my daughter’s friend’s mothers. The beauty of neighbors is they become family friends. They are my daily dose of energy as we are in touch, everyday or every other day.  

The best conversations with years-old friendships are filled with “appollam naama...”, “hey, do you remember?”, “oh is it? I totally forgot”, “wow, those were the best days” and a lot of smiles & laughter. And whatsapp chats are the best, only with friends. They rarely happen, but when they do, they are never short, they go on for hours.   

I am an introvert by nature, but an extrovert among friends. Looking back, I have had wonderful friends in every phase of my life. As I have just finished my thirties, I have quite a few friendships that are a few decades older, and they are precious indeed.       

Friends,
They understand.
They encourage.
They appreciate.
They advise.
But more than anything—they listen.
They laugh with you…and sometimes, at you 😂.

East or West. 

Women-to-Women friendships are the best.

Ruby Jubilee

I can now use the idiom “I have been around” without much hesitation — after all, I’ve been around for four decades. Yes, I recently turned 40. 😇

My life can be divided into two opposite yet similar phases: the younger me, desperately trying to look older, and the current me, wishing I didn’t look older.

Most people say, “I was more gorgeous when I was younger.” That doesn’t apply to me. But no, it doesn’t mean the reverse is true either! (So no, I’m not posting my childhood photo to prove it. 😅)

I have always had a thin and feeble voice. Age, or even my daughter for that matter 😉, could not make it stronger. There were days when even the worst throat infection made me feel glad because only on those days, I used to feel like "hey, naanum rowdydhaan!". On the brighter side, my weak voice has turned out to be useful for my daughter — I’ve given her attendance once or twice in her online classes (audio unmuted, video muted), and no one could tell the difference.

As I’m short, I have defended the school bullies with a standard reply, "Good things come in small packages.” Much later, I realised there’s also another saying: “The bigger, the better.” 😒. Proverbs are funny that way — there’s always one to suit everyone. For example: Failure is the stepping stone to success vs. A bad start dooms the outcome. Back then, I used to care about such sayings. But now that “I’ve been around,” nothing matters when the "experience" speaks.

My journey has taken me from innocence (for most of my life) to… well, let’s just say not-so-innocence. Err… I mean experience. Yes, I’ve had plenty of experiences — or in plain words, made plenty of mistakes. After all, as they say, “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” Some lessons I sought out of interest, others life taught me out of sheer affection. 😂

My interests, beliefs, and likes have constantly kept changing over the years; I see it as evolution and still I have a long way to go. Ageing has definitely helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin, as I now know my abilities and situations better.

I thought of advising you guys from my experiences, after all, “I have been around”. But being around has taught me not to advise anyone 😁. So பொழச்சு போங்க. But I can hear you saying “making us read your blog is worse than that!”. Well, I can just shrug my shoulders on that.😁  

Birthdays (or any other days for that matter) have never excited me much. But this year, being my Ruby jubilee, I wanted to highlight the occasion. So, I did the honors by writing this blog post.

Aging is beautiful. Here's to aging gracefully.

காபி

எப்போது light மாறி strong ஆனதோ
எப்போது வெதுவெதுப்பு மாறி சூடானதோ
அப்போதே நான் காபி அடிக்ட் ஆக துவங்கியிருந்தேன்.

எப்போது அஸ்கா சர்க்கரை தவிர்த்து நாட்டுசர்க்கரைக்கு பழகினேனோ அப்போது சுவைத்த காபியின் துவர்ப்பு சுவை, என்னை காபிக்கு அடிக்ட் ஆக்கியது.

காலை எழுந்தவுடன் காபி.
தலைவலிக்கு காபி.
புத்துணர்வுக்கு காபி.
சில்லென்ற மழைக்கு காபி.
ஓட்டலில் டிபனுக்கு அடுத்து கட்டாயம் காபி. 

வார நாட்களின் பரபரப்பு அடங்கிய அமைதியான காலை பொழுதில்,
பரபரப்பு தந்த அசதியை போக்கவும், புத்துணர்வு பெறவும், அதிகாலை டோஸ் போலல்லாமல் மெதுவாக ரசித்து ருசித்து குடிக்கும் இரண்டாம் கப் காபிதான் என்னுடைய most favourite.

அரிதான ஆனால் அனைத்திலும் அருமையானதுன்னா மதிய தூக்கத்திற்கு பிறகு குடிக்கும் பெட் காபிதான்.

க்ரீன் லேபிள்
ப்ரூ
நரசுஸ்
காபிடே
கண்ணன்
எதுவுமே சிறிது காலத்திற்கு பின் சுவை தராமல் போக, தற்போது கோத்தாஸ் நிறைவு தருகிறது. 

காபி பில்ட்டர் > காபி மேக்கர் any time.
பெர்க்கொலேட்டர் நல்லா இருக்குன்னு சொல்றாங்க. வாங்கி பார்க்கணும்.

கும்பகோணம் டிகிரி காபி
வேலன் காபி
சரவணபவன்
ஆனந்தாஸ்
அன்னபூர்ணா

Cafe Coffee Day (my least favorite coffee🙄).
மற்றும் பல. இப்படி எல்லா காபியும் டேஸ்ட் பண்ணியாச்சு.😋😇

காபி நல்லதா கெட்டதான்னெல்லாம் ஆராய தோணாது எனக்கு. I enjoy drinking it as it touches my soul more than my tongue.

ஒரே குறை. பானங்களில் நான் காபின்னும் கண்ணன் சொல்லியிருக்கலாம். 😁

மூழ்காத ship'பே Friendship தான்!

Today was a beautiful day for me -  a day filled with the realisation of how beautiful & understanding the friendships can be. 

I couldn't meet my closest childhood friend during my last trip to Chennai, just like every other time. But I happened to meet a few of my other friends and she came to know about it through the photos that I shared. She was hurt then for a while, which I only realised today when we spoke. I was in awe when SHE told ME the reasons why I didn’t inform / couldn’t meet her. 

It is very special when someone gets understood without self-explanations. I feel very lucky indeed.

We come across many friendships all through our lives. But we always get excited about our childhood, school or those friends who we knew for many many years.

I’m truly fortunate to have a few such genuine friendships.

மூழ்காத ship'பே Friendship தான்!

Entertainment Entertainment & Entertainment

Only movies, songs & books can always be your friend at any time. They sometimes reflect you, motivate, make happy or console you. I blogged about songs - My love story (Shhh!), a while back and this post is about movies. Hopefully I can someday write about books too. But honestly as I am not reading any books after we moved in to Coimbatore, it will definitely take some years, so don’t worry and just relax. :-p

Now coming to the movies, I guess age, experience and thought process can be the main reasons to like / dislike any movie. I have listed some movies here that I liked since a couple of years.

The movies are in no specific order.

• Family – Piku, Papanasam, Kabali, Ennai arindhal, Kapoor & Sons, Dil dhadakne do, 36 vayadhinile, Bangalore days, Appa, Amma Kanakku, Dum lagake haisha, Dangal, Pa Pandi

• Romance – Hamari Adhuri Kahani, Bahubali 2 (liked the character of Amarendra bahubali), Katru veliyidai (Liked the characterization of Karthi)

• Others - Managaram, Thuruvangal 16, Thani oruvan, 24, netru indru naalai, Anegan, Jil jung jak, Naanum rowdydhan

Did I miss any good movie?

Try to guess my state of mind from this. :-p

My Love Story (Shhh!)

I was introduced to “him” by my dad when I was 7 (or so) years old, but then I don't know that he was going to be my best buddy ever. I was very shy then to respond, so I used to just listen to him. I thought my mom would scold me as the time I am spending with him increased gradually. But I was surprised that she was not against it. To my astonishment, my brothers too liked him. So everyone in my family is supporting me to continue my love towards him. Thus our journey of love started.

When I was introduced to him, I thought he was of my age and with years he started growing charmingly fascinating. He was (is) indeed always mesmerizing. I am damn sure he is never ever going to get older or die. When I was 11 or 12 years old, my confidence rose, my shyness diminished and then I started responding to him.  When we were in our relationship, he encouraged me to understand him more. I loved every bit of him, say his devotional side or filmy romantic side. My love just kept growing.

But my mom started controlling me and advised me to take my academics seriously as it is way too important for life. Actually I too realized that I should ONLY study for the next few years. So I started avoiding him and put a temporary break to our relationship. Initially it was very hard but I think I came over it pretty well, by being practical. He tried to reach me in several ways, but as I did not respond, he started going away from me.  

I thought I was putting just a temporary break but I never realized that I am going to get carried away with my busy life. First schooling, colleging, professional and then wedding life – all this kept me away from him. Whenever I used to think about him, my eyes starts to sweat. I realized how I miss him!

But I was happy that whenever it was possible I used to get in touch with him. My colleagues helped me to revive the relationship after years. Then I started rejoicing in the nostalgic moments. But on the whole, my relationship with him has always been like a roller-coaster ride, sometimes growing high and sometimes just going down to zero.

But eventually I understood that I cannot live without him. He is my entertainment. He is my therapy. He keeps me young. He keeps me positive. He keeps me energetic. I need him to relax myself from a boring routine life. So I have decided not to leave him again anymore. I have already restarted my relationship and it is going smoothly.

Hey Music, I love you! 
Happy International Music day to you!! :-)

My dad introduced the old Hindi filmy melodies, my mom introduced the Kannada Purandhara Dasar songs, my bros introduced IR & ARR and thus my family kick started my love towards music. We used to listen to songs while working in the office and that's how my colleagues helped me to connect to music again.

PS: I understand music is supposed to be "she", but just for the story telling purpose I have mentioned her as "him". :-D

WhatsU(Ap)p?

I landed on that space and instantly I was recognized by quite a few and I became omnipresent in no time. When I got used to the culture, I pulled my besties aside.

Someone shares some information. When others hear that, they convey the same to those around them. Everyone is eagerly waiting for something interesting to happen and when that happens, all become busy talking about the same thing in different voices & emotions. This is their basic culture.

You can be present in various rooms (as I said omnipresent) and you can simultaneously be a different person in each of the rooms. This is the beauty of the space. 

Many change their faces and punchlines often.

Whatever happens some people never miss to wish you every day.

There are few unique personalities there. Some prefer to talk to you privately and so ignore you in the gang, while others might be the opposite.

Everyone keeps talking… keeps talking… talking… and then silence… silence for many days.

Occasionally, someone will speak and then leave. Nobody hears it either. Or occasionally some might hear it whenever they want to.

Most of the time, no one wants to talk. They just peep in and leave silently before someone hears their footsteps.

But some gangs are there, doing khoobh-maujh-masti whenever they can, if not often. For some, that space is the best entertainer and the stress buster. I am glad that I fall into this category and have a few such gangs or individuals.

So WhatsApp errr Whatsup friends? :-)

Chak de India!

I happened to see an interview of actor Nargis Fakhri on some tv channel last weekend. I hardly know about her but only her English accent drew my attention to see that program, when I was flipping between the channels.

She shared many things about her. As future plans she said she wants to do farming and wants to have lots of pets. When asked about wedding and having children of her own, she said she may not want a child of her own. She may adopt one or donate money to an orphanage. I think most of the Westerners think like this.

I have never heard of any western couples who lives together,

• Without an understanding between them
• Without self-respect and mutual respect for each other 
• Longing to have their own children
• Feeling lost with their children's love marriage
• Saving most of the money he earns by buying property / gold and live a poor life.

India is known for its culture, but most of the time culture turns into a pressure on humans to lose self-respect and happiness. Indians should understand these things:

• Live for today
• Don’t participate in a rat race to earn money
• Enjoy the life with the money you earn
• Go on a family/friends tour. Spend time with family/friends.
• Self-respect is important. Have it and let others also to enjoy it.
• Wedding is not compulsory. 
• Having children of your own is optional. Society's pressure is more on this. The result is so many infertility clinics make huge business.
• Help others. Respect elders. Be a good human being.  

If we want to see changes, then every individual must get the right attitude and the broad mind.

Lets hope and wish for healthier generations ahead.

Chak de India!

Manasa born on my Dad’s day

When the doctor told us that my baby's delivery date would be October 14, 2009, I prayed that the baby be born on either the 11th, which is my dad's birthday, or the 12th, which was his 'shraardha' day. 

I was admitted to the hospital on the 12th early in the morning, but only after I ate a bit of ‘prasadham’ of my dad's 'shrardham’ around 4 pm, things started working out fine for a normal delivery. And my baby was born at night at 12.45.

 

As it crossed 12 o'clock, her birth date became the 13th. But according to our "madhwa" culture, the day ends only at 2 am, so in that sense, my baby was born on my dad’s Shrardha day only, as both the stars match.

So I believe my dad is my daughter.

And im not sure if its a destiny or a compensation from God, but im sure its a blessing. 

Shocked!

This weekend I went to my mom’s place where I happened to see an old dairy of my dad’s. The dairy was of the year 1984. It had interesting mentions like me joining LKG in lady wellingdon school on June 22nd and relatives came to our place, dad visiting tirupathi, and my bro visiting coimbatore etc etc.

A shocking note was also there that my dad got heart attack on June 18th 1984. My mom says she doesn’t know about it. My dad is like most of the men who never care about their health just for the sake of the pride. I guess that must be the first heart attack and later also he must have had the problem, but he never cared about it. My dad died on 28th Oct 1994 and I remember later we found a medical prescription dated some 15 days earlier the death from somewhere in the shelf. So he had some health issues, but none of us knew about it.

Those days couples were not friendly enough to share the concerns with his partner like these days, so my mom was not aware about it. At least if the children were older and matured enough, they might have taken care of him. Even my eldest bro was just 20 or so and he could not identify and handle my dad’s health back then.

Still I could remember the darkest day of my life and its related scenes. Exactly on the previous night, may be because of some instinct or something, my dad was advising me like I should study well, not to fight with my 2nd bro, listen to moms words etc etc. I used to sleep with my parents, me in the middle. We three used to sleep in a fan-less room, because all three of us doesn’t need a fan on winter days, whereas my 2 bros used to sleep in the other room with a fan. When we went to sleep the previous night, I was about to sleep and my dad covered me into his cuddle. I used to cry even now thinking about it because I stopped his hands and slipped it back because it was disturbing my sleep.

Sigh! Somehow his chapter was over when eldest son was also not settled in any job. He missed all happy occasions like his three children’s wedding, house warming ceremonies, grand children, eldest bro who struggled in life and now comfortably living with family in US.

Even now when I see any son/daughter taking their dad to hospital for check-ups, it used to make me feel guilty that we had no maturity to attend dad’s health. Sigh! Fate is already decided, right?

I wonder how men could ignore about the health issues when a whole family is dependent on him. Though sounds harsh, I would suggest such men not to marry and have children.