My father was with me for 14 years and its been 28 years since I lost him. I have definitely been a 'Daddy's Little Princess' and a தங்கமீன்.
Dad's photo is in my living room. I see it every day. His birthday, death day and shrardha day come every year. I pass those days with a minute or two of his memories and that’s all.
But a few unexpected events remind me of my father and suddenly break me. Also of late these father's days every year.
On one of my newly married days, we had to go to my sister-in-law’s house for a special occasion. I think my mother-in-law left a couple of days before and my husband told that he would come there at night after work. So my father-in-law and I went by bus that afternoon. It’s almost an hour and a half journey. It had been more than ten years since I had lost my father then. Traveling with my father-in-law, who was the same age and gives me the same vibe as my dad, sitting next to him reminded me of my dad. It was overwhelming for me and I silently cried throughout the journey without him noticing it.
I think I am an expert in crying silently without the persons around me noticing it. There is another incident. We travelled to Tirupati as a family seven years after my father’s demise. When we were travelling to Tirumala, while everyone in the bus was happily enjoying the nature and the hairpin bends, I was silently crying uncontrolably remembering my earlier trip to Tirupati with my father. (Dad died the next day after we had returned from Tirupati then.)
Instances like this used to happen till 10-12 years after his demise. But now it’s been 28 years since he left us and so I would think myself I got used to it.
But a couple of months ago, my brother shared (not with me, but on his Twitter page) an excerpt from an old diary, written by Dad three years before his death. Mom & dad were on a holy trip then and that note had details about one of the days of that trip. When I read it, I couldn't control my tears.
I have only a few memories of my father but I will always cherish all of them. Happy fathers day, to my dearest dad, who will always live happy and smiling in my heart, who will always be remembered with love and respect.
I never talked about my father anywhere because of my introvert nature. This blog is an exception though. And I’ve written a blog post தீபாவளி என்றாலே... as well. And also Manasa born on my Dad’s day.
